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Funny jokes for WhatsApp

06/01/2016

Researchers say that laughing is good for your health, so why not give your friends a smile? Moreover, making others laughing will help you appear more intelligent and pleasant, as well as being an essential weapon in the game of seduction. Therefore, I’ve created a collection of 29 funny jokes for WhatsApp ready to be easily shared. Pick the one you like, select it and copy-paste it into a WhatsApp message. I’ve voluntarily written short jokes as people don’t like to spend much time reading funny stories. Following are the 29 most hilarious puns.

funny jokes for whatsapp

29 Funny jokes for WhatsApp

1

Sergeant: “To free up space on the archive, you can burn the documents more than ten years old.”

Cop: “Good idea! Just let me make photocopies.”

 

2

Adam goes to the Lord.

Adam: “Can I ask you a question?”

God: “Yes, my son.”

Adam: “Why did you make Eve so beautiful?”

God: “So you could love her.”

Adam: “Well, why did you make her so stupid?”

God: “So she could love you.”

 

3

Why do dwarfs laugh when playing soccer?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

 

4

How do you know when a politician is telling lies?

He moves his lips.

 

5

Two friends walk into a bar.

Paul: “What are you having?”

John: “The same as you.”

Paul:  “Then two coffees.”

John: “Two coffees for me too then.”

 

6

“Hello! Is this Iscariot house? Is Judah around?”

“No, he is out for dinner.”

“Again?”

“Yes, but he says that it’s the last time.”

 

7

Two priests talk about the new reforms in the Church, and one says to the other:

“Do you think we’ll ever see the vow of chastity get abolished?”

“Well, we certainly will not! Our children, maybe …”

 

8

Words of welcome at the international conference of sperm donors: “First of all, thank you for coming!”

 

9

“Oh God, if you cannot make me lose weight, at least make my friends get fat.”

 

10

A notice outside a bar: “Whoever drinks to forget is required to pay in advance!”

 

11

Two bats are hanging upside down in their cave. One asks

the other:

– “What was the worst day of your life?”

The other replies:

– “When I got diarrhea!”

 

12

A lifeguard on the beach is eating a super sandwich.

A needy child comes and says to him: “I haven’t eaten for three days.” The lifeguard replies: “Well, you can take a bath!”

 

13

The husband: “My love, if you learned how to cook we could dismiss the maid and save money, don’t you think?”

His wife:

“Of course’! And if you learned how to make love we could dismiss the driver, don’t you think?”

 

14

At the door of the diviner:

“Knock knock…”

“Who is it?”

“Ah, good start …”.

 

15

“Excuse me, could you tell me the way to the cemetery?” “Do you see that curve? Well, you go straight ahead!”

 

16

I had constipation problems, but as soon as I saw you I solved it.

 

17

“How are you? Today I heard that a body was found without a brain, please tell me you’re okay.”

 

18

Is it true that carrots are good for your eyesight? Sure! Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?

 

19

A dog in front of a Christmas tree.

“Finally, they put lights in the bathroom!”

 

20

Two blondes are in the woods to look for a Christmas tree. After two hours of intense searching, one says to the other: “I’ve had enough! We take the next tree we see even if it has no decorations.”

 

21

A dog is walking with a bone in its mouth. It meets a cat who asks it: “Why do you keep the bone in your mouth?” It replies: “Because I don’t have pockets.”

 

22

A doctor says to their patient, “Tell me what’s wrong.” The patient begins to touch several part of his body saying, “I feel pain here, here, here… but also here, here, here, and here… what happened to me?” The doctor replied: “Idiot! Don’t you see that you broke your finger?!”

 

23

Two fleas come out of the cinema. One says to the other: “Dear, shall we walk, or shall we take a dog?”

 

24

How was your dinner in the outdoor restaurant?

Bad, it started to rain, and it took me an hour to finish the broth!

 

25

“Doctor, I think I’m a dog …”.

“Lie down on the couch …”.

“Oh! Thank you! At home, they don’t let me lie on the sofa!”

 

26

“Doctor, I feel strange: I have premonitions about the future.” “Since when?” “From next Wednesday.”

 

27

“Hey, did your ass fall asleep?”

“Why?”

“I heard it snoring …”

 

28

“When you make love, do you talk to your wife?”

“Yes, if she calls me …”

 

29

Why do policemen smile during storms?

Because they believe that lightning is the flashes of the photographers.

 





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